What I’ve Learned — Week 32

As I’ve thought about the lessons I learned while being sick for nearly two weeks, I have wondered how it will affect my family and friendships. If I were pregnant, you’d say I’m in a nesting phase. Even though I’m not pregnant, I still believe I’m nesting, minus the manic burst of energy.

So what have I learned?

1. Never watch the Sherlock episode “Hound of the Baskervilles” while running a high fever. This one episode freaked me out on a normal day, but this time it caused me to dream at a different level of WOAH than normal.

2. I’ll never miss a flu shot again. I know that a flu shot does not prevent the flu. I also know that it doesn’t always work and that creating it is a guessing game. But if it helps decrease my chances of getting the flu, or lessens the severity, sign me up.

I am not a whiny person by nature and prefer the stiff upper lip line of thinking. You know, the “stay calm and carry on” jazz. That’s me. Let me rephrase, that’s me in my 40’s. But the flu made me whiny compared to my normal behavior. My friend Anne, who so selflessly took care of me while we were in Ohio and I was so sick, took me to task for apologizing for being whiny. I’m pretty sure I was acting like a toddler, while she tried to reassure me I wasn’t whiny.

Maybe she will weigh-in in the comments.

3. I have some great friends. My inner circle continues to grow smaller and change, but I find that I am relived that it does. Of course, some of the ones that are on the outside of the circle I never thought would be there, but that is their own choosing.

4. I can write. My own impostor syndrome prevents me from writing here as much as I’d like and it sucks. That being said, I’m working on something that gratifies, yet frustrates me, and has truly shown I am capable of great narrative description and conceptualizing a scene.

5. I have to stop being afraid. Much of my life has been spent living in fear of putting myself out there. In fact, this should be a post all of its own. I’m not afraid to dive deeper on this topic, but I still need time to reconcile with the issues my anxiety causes — which is the fear of so much. I think we all have some type of fear that stops us cold in our tracks and it’s different for everyone. I also know that I’m not alone, which makes things much easier. That being said, it is easier when I tell myself I am not alone and I have to remember to keep it up.