It’s been a few weeks friends. Sorry I’ve not been around, but life has hectic and I’ve had to slow down. But it’s been a time for personal growth and the lessons have been many. While all of my questions sent out to the universe haven’t been answered, I think they will in time, but you can’t lob that many questions and expect immediate gratification.
1. Lysol is a must for any home. We were watching the Super Bowl and not long after, the whole family was sick with a stomach virus. Mine was quite mild compared to the boys, but never have I been happier to douse light switches, bathrooms, etc., with a dose of Lysol. I try to keep things super natural and simple when I clean. However, I wondered for a few brief moments, in my sleep deprived state, if the local nuclear power station would give me a spent fuel rod to throw in my house and kill all of the germs. Probably not my greatest moment.
2. Boys have cast iron stomachs. The kid and husband were down Monday and Tuesday. By Wednesday they were back to normal and wanting baked spaghetti for supper. Baked spaghetti. Who are these people? We had chicken soup.
3. I have an avocado toast problem. Maybe a big avocado toast problem. I eat this for breakfast every single day. Two pieces of toast smeared with avocado with salt and pepper. I know it’s so last year, but sweet heavens to Betsy it’s delicious. Sometimes I go a little nuts and sprinkle Vietnamese garlic chili sauce on it for a hearty kick to my tastebuds.
Thankfully, I’m not the only one with this problem, as my friend Leticia eats it most days as well. It’s going to be the name of our 80s/punk/metal/bossanova/rap band. We’re Avocado Toast and we are here to rock you!
4. I love having a TV in my bedroom. There, I said it. I swore I’d never have a TV in my bedroom, but inherited a little 19″ TV from the kid and it’s heavenly. I have an Apple TV connected to it and can stream music from the local classical station or watch obscure documentaries without people rolling their eyes and sighing.
This is such a big thing for me as I didn’t want a TV because I thought it would interfere with my life. I don’t watch it before bed, just listen to music and read. When I was sick, I could lay in bed with “Daddy Long Legs” streaming and just watch, or nap, while Fred Astaire and Julie Caron danced their way into love. I may change my mind next week, but right now I’m pretty sure I’ll growl if anyone tries to remove it.
5. I really like strangers right now. I stole that from my friend, M. We’ve both dealt with a lot of very different, but similar issues over the past year. She’s experienced an incredible amount of loss. I experienced the same kind in 2009 and can relate. I’ve closed ranks and pulled in tight, keeping a core group close. I know that no matter what, they’ll be there.
Strangers though — I only have to disclose as much as I want with them. I don’t feel like I have to be “on.” Which is why I’ve pulled my core group closer than ever before. Let me explain, when I’m going through a time of deep, profound change, I shut down. I don’t contribute to society and ignore everyone but my immediate family. For me to still be communicating with people is a huge step in personal growth.
6. Be gracious. My friend Thien-Kim, when I had made some wisecrack about my work, said to me very matter-of-fact “Lisa, you need to be more gracious to yourself.” It was such a profound, simple statement that I never considered. Quite frankly, I am having a difficult time honoring her words, but I’m trying.
It’s much easier to be gracious towards other people than it is to myself. Maybe it’s because graciousness was trained into me. It’s what Southern Mamas, Grandmas, Aunties, Teachers, Neighbors, etc., do. You are expected to be gracious to all you meet. No one ever taught me that I should treat myself well, or with grace.
The Bible says “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31 NIV) Which made me think. What if the verse said “Do unto others as you do unto yourself.” If I did that, people would hate me. We can go about our day and be amazing to everyone we meet, but we treat ourselves like crap. I’m imagining how people would react if I treated them the way I treat the person I have to look at in the mirror every day. I’d live a very cold, lonely existence.
But I can be honest about it. It’s time to be more gracious and will be a lesson I revisit a lot in the coming weeks and months. It is a lesson I have to revisit, for my own self-worth and to keep a promise made to a friend.