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Lisa M. Frame

friends

Writerly Things

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When this publishes, I’ll be somewhere between North Carolina and South Carolina doing writerly things and exploring very Southern things with my friend Liz. She flew down from her home in Philly to visit me. Liz left cheesesteaks, brotherly love, and my favorite hockey team, to come to the land of grits, sweet tea, humidity, and mosquitos as big as your hand.

That’s how things are planned. Of course, as I’m writing this, she has yet to strap herself into a seat not made for ample bottoms, or even bottoms sans ampleness, and hurtled at 500 mph in a steel tube to my airport.

The only visitors to come stay at our house have been family, so I’m very excited. Liz is a special soul, who is sassy, smart, and has the best eyebrows I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Super models would maim to have her eyebrows.

While she’s here, we’re going to dive deep into history, explore curious corners and when we’re absolutely exhausted, we will sit down with our modern machines made by a fruit company in a nondescript coffee shop somewhere to work and write.

That being said, Liz loves a good fountain beverage, her choice being a Diet Coke, so I’ll make sure we have spots where she can get her fill of its sharp, caffeinated, thirst quenching properties. While she does that, I’ll stick to good ol’ H2O, or coffee. The great thing about traveling is I don’t care where the coffee comes from as long as it’s hot and they have liquid creamer. (I do realize that I just ruined my whole coffee snob persona.)

I’ll be sharing lots of our adventures over on Instagram and Snapchat. You can find me on IG as lframe and on snapchat as lframe29. I could always post a photo of my SnapCode and be super techlicious, but scanning things on a computer screen reminds me of bad QR codes. We all know those codes never worked. For the genius who thought putting them on a billboard was a great idea, you were wrong.

Honestly, it’s just nice to have someone here who understands what I do, my goals and my insane neurosis. My husband is an amazing supporter of my work, but he can only do so much cheerleading. That’s why having this tribe of people who do what I do is important. We connect virtually every week, but that face to face connection and time together is a thing of beauty. It’s an important part of my life and makes me feel human.

As I cut this short, just a word of thanks to all of my friends who are in this virtual world of work. Our existence is very lonely at times and it is your presence in my life, whether in a Skype room, or when we see each other face to face, that can make or break a day. I appreciate all of you.

Best friend conversations — The Good, The Bad, The Chin Hairs

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Dee and I went out for coffee Sunday and, as usual, conversation was lively. She was just home from vacation with her family, I’m preparing to take mine to Washington, DC, to say goodbye to my father-in-law. We stopped in at our favorite haunt in Charlotte, Central Coffee, and settled in at the outside table to enjoy the shade and unusual break from the omnipresent heat and humidity.

Words flew fast and furious, photos were shared, questions asked, while we got down to the nitty-gritty of life. That’s where things started to get interesting. By the end of the day we sat looking at each other questioning if we were indeed losing our minds, or if they’re already gone. After all, once you get to a certain age, the faculties start to decline. We’re not sure if ours have hopped a train heading west or are playing hide and seek.

Years ago, we made the promise that if either of us went to jail, we’d bail the other out or be sitting in said jail cell together. Now, Dee and I are Southern women and there is no way, no how, you’re going to catch us in a jail cell. That’s just not done. However, we’ve been dutifully hanging on to our bail money for years and will continue to keep it sitting in the bank where it earns a paltry sum of interest.

Friends, I ask you, when did we stop talking about sitting beside each other in a jail cell and start promising to make sure the other one goes to the good hospital, and that we’ll also pluck each others chin hair? That’s right, if either of us are in the hospital, or incapacitated in any way, shape or form, unable to perform basic self-care we wouldn’t normally share with the world, we’ll pluck each others rogue chin hair.

We’re bound “till death do we part” by wiry hair sprouting from our chins.

Trust me, if my eyes could roll any further into the back of my head, they would. Maybe it’s because I can’t believe I’m writing this. Maybe it’s because I can’t believe I’m old enough to have chin hair issues. Maybe I’m also a little paranoid — who knows when the Big Bad Wolf is going to come and blow my house down now that I’m talking about the hair on my chinny chin chin.

When did it come to this? I don’t know, but I do know that one day we’ll finally lose the last vestiges of our sanity, make a large withdrawal from the bank, and spend it on shoes with a price tag so silly we’ll need that ambulance ride to the good hospital.

When the financial crisis hits those you love…

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The financial crisis we have been going through has been a lot of things for a lot of people. For some of my friends it has really been hitting close to home. I just got off of the phone with one friend who hasn’t worked in a year due to health issues. She had lyme disease and it wasn’t diagnosed for a year. Couple that with new heart issues and nerve damage all stemming from this, financially, she is not hurting, but it just has to stretch a long way. Dollars aren’t made of rubber. Only checks that bounce.

To make things worse, her husbands department at work may be closing.

When it rains, it pours.

Ugh.

Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

She has been crying on me for the last hour. I am writing this while I talk to her and at least she is laughing some.  After all, laughter through tears is the best medicine.

What can you say? Not a whole lot, but you can show major support. Consoling words.  Listening to tears. Telling them to breath. Reassuring them that it will be ok. That life, nor God hates them or has it out for them.

Luckily for them, they don’t have children yet. Boy, that would take it from DEFCON 1 to something way beyond.

I really had no idea what else to tell her, other than I have been there. My husband was laid off when we had a 6 month old. I can’t say it was awful. He kept his nose to the grindstone and was able to make a lateral career move.

Still, how do you get them through it? How do you tell your friend not to over-dramatize it? Not to worry? Not to think the worst?  Reassure them and tell them that this is only temporary.

You can tell them. But will they believe it?

They don’t. It sucks.

Change in Scenery

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There are days that my life seems like I live in a cyclone. High winds, heavy rains and it’s all whipping me around in circles.  I was ready to scream “ENOUGH”.  So, I did what any normal woman with a full plate needs to do several times away.

I took a vacation.
While I am blogging this from the glorious North Carolina coast, my husband and son are holding down the home front. Hanging out. Cleaning house….umm, sure.  It’s more like eating tons of junk food, calling on Grandma to feed them, wild abuses to the length of time allowed on video games, etc. It’s an official guys weekend for them.
That being said, I am with two of my dearest friends, Katie and Dee. Their families are holding down the home front as well. It could only be made better if Emili and Whitney were here. Seriously, it’s just a weekend of grilling, wine, Corona and walking on the beach. Well, there is also checking out the cute surfers.
While I have been procrastinating from a minor block, I feel myself opening up. Ready to move on.  Ready for change. Ready to push myself to the next level.
Yes, there are major things going on in my extended family (in-laws, etc) and with friends who are near and dear. However, I will take care of them as they come. It’s been to the point that I have been letting all of that block me and affect how I handle everything.
his change in scenery is good. It’s giving me perspective when I felt that I had none left.
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