Social Media

I broke up with Facebook, sort of.

October 13, 2014 by Lisa 3 Comments

I broke up with Facebook last week and deleted it off of my phone. Sorry Facebook, it’s not me, it’s you. So much of my day, and my phone battery, is spent on Facebook. It goes beyond the normal social media marketing and checking in I would normally do. I’ll be quite honest with you, my response every time I’d hear the “ding” of my phone announcing a new update, etc., was Pavlovian. I had to check my Facebook!

I wasn’t writing as much I want to. I was getting behind on client work and having to catch up at the last minute possible. Who am I kidding, I was laying in bed, checking Facebook and electronics are a no-no for me in bed because the blue light exposure affects my sleep in so many ways.

What have I learned over the past few days? I’m less stressed. I’m pretty sure if you checked my blood pressure, it’s lower as well. Is it just because I’m only on Facebook if I have it open to work? No, because I do all of my Facebook for work from a third-party account.

According to Dr. Kathy Charles at the Edinburgh Napier University in Scotland, Facebook does create less than desirable outcomes due to our activity on the social networking site:

12% of the users studied said their Facebook site made them anxious
30% said they felt guilty about rejecting friend requests
Many said they felt pressure to come up with inventive status updates
Many did not like the different rules of online etiquette for different friends.

Are you one of those numbers? I am definitely in the 12% of those who Facebook makes anxious. It’s not because I want to impress people, but more because everyone has lost their filter on Facebook, sharing angry rants, over-share personal information about their intimate lives, or openly weep over every single tragedy in the world. Not that there’s anything wrong with what they’re doing, but I absorb a lot from other people so there has had to be a place where I exert control over things that affect my emotions again.

Furthermore, while I realize it’s also a great way of connecting and receiving support from your community, are the people you truly want or need that support from people you’ve not see in twenty years and who wouldn’t give you the time of day in high school?

When you boil all of this down, it’s very much a personal preference. For me, I’m better with less exposure to others emotions. Sounds harsh, but it makes my life better. Taking care of me is essential.

Social Media Musings

May 1, 2013 by Lisa 11 Comments

Social media is an amazing tool and way of communication. It’s opened a whole new world for millions of people, but it’s not without fault.

I’m thinking a lot about those flaws right now.

Let me backtrack.

It’s 1998 and I’m in a chat room after a day on the golf course. Normally, I’d have been out since it was a Friday night, but I had sprained my ankle earlier in the day. (Never play golf in Keds.) In that chat room was a nice young man. He was flirty, made fun of me for spraining my ankle on the golf course and after chatting for a few hours — with the other hundred or so people in the room — asked if he could email me.

That email turned into hundreds of emails, which turned into phone calls, and finally, a face-to-face meeting. Of course, when we met, everyone was terrified, because according to them, the Internet was filled with rapists and murderers. We’ve been together 15 years, married nearly 14 and have a 12 year old son.

Fast forward to 2013 and the state of the world I work in feels as if it’s going to hell in a hand basket. The Wall Street Journal has decided I’m some sort of party animal. I hate to break it to you WSJ, I was at Type-A Advanced in Philadelphia two weeks ago and was in bed at 10pm, working, with a bottle of water and Udi’s Gluten-free Snickerdoodle cookies.

That’s right folks, I know how to rage.

Sure, I’m a mom, but that is not my entire identity. I feel like publications/journalists are out to slay the “mommy blogger”and seem to forget I am more than “Mom.” Before I was a mother, I was Lisa. And while I love my son, I also take time to make sure I nurture Lisa. My son is part of me. Giving birth to him was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done, or will ever do, in my life. But being his mother does not define me as a whole. If it did, I’d crack. For me to be a happy mother, I have to remember who Lisa is and do little things for her as well.

I’m a writer. I also do true social media strategy — meaning I take a set of problems and come up with a solution that makes everyone happy and gets measurable results. I do community management — and I’m good at it. (Believe me, there is a lot more to it than Facebooking and Tweeting.) I’m also working on two books (not including the folders full of notes for future projects.)

I don’t have time to go and party like it’s the dot com era and money is flowing like Cristal in the VIP room of NYC clubs. I mainly write for a living. Show me a normal everyday working writer with Cristal money and I’ll show you a writer who is truly blessed financially; or has a magic chicken laying golden eggs in their closet.

But lately, the world of social media has been slowly eroding. At times, I feel it’s an avalanche trying to bury us all. Social media is no longer about conversation. It feels like it’s about shoving your opinion down someone’s throat and that’s the be-all-end-all. I don’t even have to go into what I have seen, but opinions are just that: opinions—and they’re written all the time. They have been around since the existence of time. Except people used to believe in having a verbal discourse known as a conversation and would respect another person’s opinion.

What happened to the art of conversation? When did we forget to sit back, take a deep breath, collect our thoughts and then proceed? Instead of moving ahead with all of this grand technology, it feels like we’re moving backwards. It’s like we’re becoming digitized cave people: truncating our thoughts into 140 characters or less, sharing (or is it promoting?) our selfie photos like cave paintings on a wall, or Vining our little clips where we discovered fire or invented the wheel.

We’re not becoming more civilized, we’re becoming more primitive.

I’m not perfect. Sure I’ve been known to spout off at the mouth without thinking. I’m human. However, the older I get, the more I think about what I say and the ramifications. Call me an old fogey, but I worry the last thing I say to someone could be something that hurt them deeply and I don’t want that on my conscious. It’s not saying I don’t have an opinion, but it’s that I take my time and process.

Does that affect me as a writer? Not really, as the only opinion pieces I write are here and rarely anything that would cause heat. That’s because the voice in my head are the my Grandmother, Mother and Aunt, all telling me “If you don’t have anything to say about anyone, it’s best not to say it at all.” The phrase “never discuss in public what you wouldn’t discuss in polite company” also rings a bell.

I’m just still trying to figure out where social is heading. I know where I’m headed — to expand my efforts to create a better, kinder world with social media. By moderating my actions, I hope to influence others and remind them of days gone past… when courtesy ruled and we respected others opinions.

Of Friends and Fireflies…

June 17, 2012 by Lisa 11 Comments

Good days are something I don’t hear about from a lot of people unless they are suffering from chronic health issues or if they’ve had a difficult time in their lives. However, I like to look at my days and find the good in each one. Today, was better than good for me. It was a day of friends and fireflies.

I was able to spend my day with my dear friend and colleague, Leticia Barr, from Tech Savvy Mama. She was hosting a blogger event and knowing I was in town, invited me to come and spend the day with her. It was perfect. We don’t get to see each other often enough, yet we talk daily. Actually, we’re on Skype all day long, co-working virtually, 500 miles away. We’re also pretty sure we share a brain, but that’s a story for another day.

After stopping off for crepes at the Silver Spring Farmers Market, Leticia and I shopped for costumes for the UbiSoft party at the upcoming Type-A Parent Conference, picked up her CSA share and headed back to her place. There, we caught up on work, discussed our to-do lists and celebrated the fact that we were going to see each other three weekends in a row.

It’s the little things.

Social media and my work in the field and brought me connections never dreamed by our ancestors. My husband and I met in a chat room in 1998 and many of our close friends live only as far away as the click of a mouse.

Having made these connections that have turned into true relationships is wonderful and difficult at the same time. Because the people that get you, that really know you, don’t live next door. You can’t just ring someone up and say “grab the kids and meet us for dinner at 6pm.” We have to plan and sometimes only get to see each other once a year.

Our friend Doug lives north of San Francisco and we’ve not seem him since Peanut was two. We met online in 1998. Have vacationed together and he was in our wedding. We miss seeing him and while we get to see his family grow online, the absence of his physical presence is felt strongly.

That’s the great thing about social media; the building of amazing relationships, no matter how big or small they are. It’s also one of the more difficult things about social media. The ones who really do get you, and that you’d love to spend day in and day out with,eede leaves you wishing you could do something as simple as walk next door and borrow a cup of sugar from them.

As I was leaving Leticia’s tonight, I was trying to Instagram a firefly I had caught tonight. It flew away and I gave up, bummed I had missed my chance. As my husband put the car in resverse, Leticia came walking swiftly back.

She had a firefly.

ThE mAgiC oF fiREfLiEs
Photos of fireflies by Tsuneaki Hiramatsu
Fireflies On The Water Exhibit

Macys, SheSpeaks and Classroom Makeover Sweepstakes!

September 8, 2011 by Lisa Leave a Comment

Do you dread back to school shopping? Kids are whining, the stores are jam packed and no matter what you do, it feels as if a root canal would be a better option? Well,Macy’s understands and wants to help!

SheSpeaks has teamed up with Macy’s and their Classroom Makeover Sweepstakes! Share your school pride and share the contest and YOUR favorite homeroom could win a $25,000 upgrade.

I’ve entered to help out my sons middle school. It’s a fabulous school, but woefully out of date. The eighth graders lockers have been there since the 1950’s and you can tell. While we are paying locker rental to help raise funds, it takes YEARS to accumulate the funds needed to purchase. This would go a long way in reaching our goal.

The Macy’s Classroom Makeover Sweepstakesis running until September 15th, 2011.

We’re also hosting a #MacysB2S Twitter Party to help our members kick off the school year in style!

How to Enter:

Head to www.facebook.com/macys and like their page
Click the Classroom Makeover Sweeps tab
Fill out the entry form & submit
Share the contest via Facebook and Twitter

Twitter Party Details:

When: September 8, 2011 @ 8PM ET
Follow: #MacysB2S

Established in 1858, Macy’s is the Great American Department Store – an iconic retail brand with over 800 stores across the country and online at macys.com. Macy’s offers an incredible selection and the best brands, tailored to each and every customer, while providing an experience that transcends ordinary shopping.

A big part of Macy’s unique heritage includes our special events – the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Fourth of July Fireworks, flower shows, fashion extravaganzas, celebrity appearances and holiday traditions that range from the arrival of Santa Claus to tree lightings and festive window displays. But beyond our signature events, Macy’s delivers magical moments every day through our shopping environment, service and merchandise – a great deal of which is sold exclusively through our stores. It’s all part of the excitement we’ve been creating for 151 years…and it’s all part of the magic of Macy’s!

Disclosure: Thanks to SheSpeaks and Macy’s for sponsoring me to be part of their chat tonight. I was compensated for time for participating, however all thoughts here are my own.

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