It’s been a while since I’ve done any serious writing here, friends. Not without good reason. I’ve had some great things to share, but family has taken precedence and that has been first and foremost. It would have helped had I scheduled what I’ve written in advance, but they’re all sitting in draft and I’ve had too much on my mind to think about the blog.
Dad had to have 1200cc’s of fluid removed from his right lung a few weeks ago. That’s 1.2 liters of water. Yesterday, he had 800cc removed making a grand total of 2 liters. He was an incredibly healthy, fit man before his heart surgery. But having a sinus infection, UTI and then pneumonia on top of a thoracic aneurysm repair and heart valve replacement has caused a host of issues.
I had a good understanding of medicine before he went in for surgery, so much that Mom has always pushed me to go to medical school. That being said, it pushes my line of thinking to congestive heart failure, which then makes me think of a heart transplant, which makes me crazy. My great-uncle did that whole congestive heart failure/transplant thing so I know the signs well. Mom assures me that is not the case, but my brain goes there in worry.
I’ve been asking Mom if I could come up and help, but she has been insistent that I not come. This turned out to be a good thing, because Sunday night, right after the Super Bowl, the scourge of all households kicked in a/k/a the stomach virus. Followed by a cold. Followed by me having a stomach virus. It’s been just lovely. When I say lovely, I mean “sweet heavens to betsy, I’m over and done. Can’t summer just show up and someone transport me to an island where there is sun, sand and surf?”
That’s life, right? It’s not been all bad and we’re all alive and feeling better. However, I’ve put everything I’m doing in a holding pattern. Travel, events, etc., are taking a back seat and that’s just how it has to be. I’ve even allowed laundry to take a back seat, but that’s really just an excuse, because it’s laundry.
My thoughts are generally consumed by writing, the craft of writing, etc., but I’m even at a stalemate there. I start to write, but then I’m like Hammy in “Over The Hedge” and am all over the place. The only time I’m consistent is when I’m writing in my journal. That is my sanity saver and keeps me going — well, that and a few friends who are keeping my spirits lifted.
Today I’m going to sit down with an blank document and try and conjure some things on paper. I’ll do it while I’m drinking coffee and listening to Pink Floyd. It’s a stormy day, so the whirling, turbulent emotions I’m experiencing will have the companion they seek, even if only for a few hours.
Be kind to yourself.