What I’ve Learned — Friendship {Week 10}

This week’s things I’ve learned is extraordinarily personal in nature. After all, self-education is personal. But this is more than personal. This is deep, dark, gut-wrenching lessons. And I truly hope you can take these lessons and apply to them to you life.

1. You have very few true friends. The ones who love you even when you’re in the depths of despair. Others can say they are your friends and they “love you,” but that love only extends when you are there to listen to them and their problems. If they aren’t the center of your attention, you’re ignored.

2. It is okay to cut people out of your life without telling them. Chances are they won’t even notice you’re gone. Recognizing and then accepting this will be one of the most painful things you’ve ever done in your life.

3. Friends you just met will do things that surprise you, like actually care about you and your life. This will come as a pleasant shock to the system.

4. Choose your friends wisely. Don’t let people in too close too quickly. I’m paying attention to my French friend from here on out. I don’t want to know your personal life unless you’re in my circle. I’d rather know you based on appropriate dinner table discussion, where our personal lives don’t intercede.

5. Friendship is a two-way street. It’s a give and take. There is never a moment when it’s truly 50-50. When you realize you’re always giving, and people ignore you need to receive, well see #’s 1, 2, and 4.

6. We’re all human with many faults. But when you know how badly someone is hurting and you still don’t reach out, you don’t deserve the right to call them friend and they are better off without you in their life.