“Never injure a friend, even in jest.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship and what it means to me. Considering that my mind set and my mood is 200% better than it was earlier this month, it’s left me thinking clearly and on a very deep level.
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.
That quote, by the great Dr. King, hangs by my desk now. It’s a reminder, that in my darkest days, those who told me they loved me most, were silent. They didn’t call. They didn’t text. They didn’t ask. Nothing. Difficult is an understatement and caused me more pain than they will ever know.
So, why write about it here? Because I promised to share the true Lisa. And, the real Lisa is hurt by the actions of others.
I was raised in a Christian home and have always been told to turn to God for my problems. Don’t worry, he’s spent a lot of time with me lately, and I’m consistently reminded of this verse from the book of John:
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
I’m not getting all preachy on you, but I realize with my that my friendship is one to be valued. One worth laying down life.
And I was discarded.
But others have went out of their way to lift me up.
The phone call at midnight from a friend I only knew online to lift my spirits and make me laugh. Another friend who told me how much she loved me and offered to fly out to visit me. Friends who at all hours of the day, texting me, skypeing me, DM’ing or replying to me on Twitter…just to tell me they loved me. People I have real relationships with, that I might only see once a year, but who are my friends.
Yet, those I talked with nearly everyday? Silence.
It’s been deafening.
My friend Rajean told me that when she was dating her husband, her mother told her “Rajean doesn’t throw people away”. It was in response to me sharing Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
Are they my enemy? Or are they people aware of their own problems, afraid to reach out to me?
I’ll probably never know.
“I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson